My darling baby,
There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of you… I’ve been thinking about you a lot more lately than I did in the past that’s also probably because I am now at a stage where I feel I am ready to have a child and the fact that I did have that chance and I didn’t do a good job which costed you your precious innocent life! I am sorry I didn’t try harder to protect you to stand up for you, to save you… trust me there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to have you back!
I loved you when I first found out about you and I still do long after you are gone, cos truth is to me your still very much apart of my heart and always will be my first and there is something about your first anything!
When I see babies or when they make eye contact with me as happy as that makes me it also breaks my heart a little… a little cos I couldn’t even hold you in my arms… I couldn’t share you with the world and I am sorry for that!
Baby I know you went to be with Jesus and my aunt is coming there soon so promise me you’ll find her and show her the ropes! I know that I wouldn’t have been the best and in a way maybe you escaped a horrible childhood or life getting away from me but all I can tell you is… I would have loved you more than I loved anyone or anything else! Sure you would have changed my world but my world would have purpose and reason… my world would be colourful and pretty simply cos you’d be in it and I’d have you!
I know I can’t change anything that happen but I will carry you in my heart for the rest of my days and pray that someday we will meet and I’ll know instantly it is you!
It’s been 5 years now… and everyday I think of you and what you’d be like… I love you my angel! Rest in love! ❤️
thisislandgirlsthoughts 